Hello xxx!

I am really pleased to get your letter and I hope it can be the beginning of very nice conversation. It is always pleasant to talk to smart people and if you find something in common the conversation can be really inspiring.
This year has already become unforgettable for Ukraine and I do believe that it is experiencing one of the most difficult times in its history. Everybody knew that Putin is a bloodthirsty leader though now everyone knows that he is a real monster.. It is only pity that every day people are suffering though Putin does not care whether he is fighting against our army or civilians. He kills kids, women, elderly people... For the sake of what? The humanitarian corridors are being shelled.. Is it normal? I do not know how it is possible to be so  and cruel and inhuman, how it is possible to lie to the Russian people so much, how it is possible to wash the brain of the audience so very much... These people (though I cannot call Russians people, at least the ones who support the war in Ukraine) refuse to see the real truth: they seem to be blind and deaf, ignorant and extremely cruel... The blood of Ukrainians is on the hands of the Russian leader and his nation. Ok, enough about that. I am sorry for devoting the whole paragraph to this topic though it is something that concerns me and my motherland. Glory to Ukraine!

It is nice if we can open up to each other and share some things about our personalities and our life. It is impossible to put everything in one letter though it is also not needed. One timid step in a time. It is indeed interesting if we have some things which could unite us - the things which inspire us and make our life brighter. For example I am the person who loves the sun and the water, I am the one who likes cooking and creating cozy atmosphere at home. What about you? What is your favorite thing to do? What is the list of your favorite movies that you can watch and watch again? I ask you this question though I doubt that I would answer this it myself as I like different genres: from romantic "Notebook", "Pretty Woman" to adventurous - "Indiana Jones", "Pirates of the Caribbean", "Transformers", "Mummy" and my favorite "Harry Potter"(watched 100 times, I think. There are many more movies I like but yeah, I do not want to bore you and mention them all.

It is nice that you shared with me some features which you want to see in the woman. A lot of men prefer imagining themselves with topmodels as it is what the modern world and magazines are dictating to them. If you look at the covers of the males' magazines, you will see a woman who is literally shining with allure and sexuality. Sure, every single man desires such kind of woman - the cover. At the same time if we are not talking about the outer beauty it is natural to want to have a kind, loyal, reliable woman who would never betray and who would never hurt the man. My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life-despite what fashion magazines say-is something more sublime than just looking good for men.
xxx, I think it is extremely premature to talk about our meeting. We do not know each other and we do not know how compatible we are. So, I am thankful for your invitation though I prefer waiting a bit and checking how much we have in common.

I think I need to give you more info about me. Sorry if this paragraph is a bit boring  I was born on the 9th of November, I am 165 cm and 53 kg.  I do not have kids though I love the children and I easily find the common language with them (I have a sister Ekaterina who is 14 years old and I love her dearly). I think I would never have the problems to connect my life with the man who is already a father. My parents and my sister live  225 km away from me. I do not see them often, to my regret, but we keep daily contact via telephone. As I have already mentioned my husband was killed in the car accident together with his brother (it was the fault of a drunk driver who simply crashed into my husband's car). As you can guess this tragedy totally changed my perception of of life. Anyway, the life is going on and I am totally ready to start a new love story. I do want to be happy. I think every person deserves to love and to be loved.
I graduated from V. Dahl National University and my specialization is sociology and after graduation I am working as a  housing and communal services administrator. It is a kind of social work as you are communicating with the citizens of the town all the time (they come to us to solve their problems with facilities, pensions and various subsidies). Frankly speaking, it is not the job of my dream but I do it with pleasure anyway. My dream is to get second diploma and to get the knowledge in the sphere of tourism and hotel business as I am pretty sociable and it seems to me that I can easily find the common language with people.. 

I am sure, you already know what kind of things you will never tolerate in your future partner. Will you tell me what exactly puts you off? I cannot tolerate lies, betrayal (emotional and physical), disrespect to me and my family. Sure, nobody wants to connect the life with the person with addictions. I am not an exception though I want to explain that I am not against alcohol as drinking a glass of something when visiting a restaurant or a party is pretty natural. I am talking about real addiction that ruins the family relationship, that spoils the lives. I cannot imagine myself by the side of an aggressive, mean and self-concentrated man. I am afraid of the people who are shouting and who explode in a second. My dream is to live in happy and peaceful atmosphere. My man and I can be different and have different types of personalities, but I want us to respect each other and never change each other's individualities. Is it something that you are also looking for? I do not want to sound too sweet and lovely as it is impossible to reach perfection in life. I simply describe something I want to try to reach and something I want to avoid. We all have fears and they are our biggest enemies.

Despite the fact that I do not have real hobbies, I consider myself a very active, energetic and curious person.  I love the nature and I love being outdoors. I like to hike, to swim, to play bowling, to see new places. I like to knit, sew and embroider (yes, granny's hobbies. I am "music maniac". I simply listen to it almost all the time. I like to have fun and I like to surround myself with happy and positive  people (I have 2 real friends). By nature I am a  forgiving person, I do not  know  how  to  be  angry with someone for a long time (though I am not an angel and if the person hurts the ones  I love, I am much more "vindictive"). I do not see the sense to accumulate negativity in my mind and heart. I can be upset or even mad from time to time, though when it happens nice music or hot shower help me to come back to "senses". How do you get rid of the negative emotions? Would you accept a kiss or hug from your partner? Would it help? After being alone for 4 years I desperately long for a tender hug and passionate kiss (not from a stranger, of course, but from the person who is dear to me. You know what I am talking about... I think this desire made us write to each other and initiate contact.

Sorry I need to learn how to control my talkativeness. I am afraid it is one of my vices.  I hope I did not scare you off.  Tell me more about your life and if you have some photos, I would be glad to get them
Have a nice day
Tanya

Hello dear xxx!

I am very glad that we can talk again I am sorry if I am answering with delay from time to time. The war zone is the area with unstable facilities (we are often "granted" with blackouts and along with that the Internet connection here is disastrous though I am not complaining. I am sorry if I make you wait for my letter. Please, do not take it as the lack of interest in you. I am VERY interested in your personality and I am VERY eager to learn more about your personality I enjoy our communication and I can confess that thanks to your letters my days are brighter Do you want to be my personal sunshine? Sure, this metaphor can sound weird, but I am just trying to flirt with you (if you do not mind). It is already not the first date of ours and that is why I bravely allow myself to flirt and tease you a bit. Is it something that makes you excite or it is something that scares you off? Just curious.

How is everything in your world? I suppose first Covid19 and then the war in Ukraine that also influences all the countries that help my motherland to fight against this monster. I do know about the inflation, I know about certain panic among the people who do not earn enough to cope with the new prices. I feel sorry for everyone though I do appreciate every country, every person, every organization that does not leave Ukraine alone. So many people all over the world are supporting Ukraine, so many people are protesting against this bloody war. It seems to me that it is first time in the history of our planet when the world hates aggressor so very much and supports the country that is trying to protect its people and its sovereignty in all possible ways. I have never seen the world being so organized to help us. It is so inspiring to see. I only hope and pray that very soon this bloody war will be finally over!
How is the weather right now? Are you tired or energetic? (please, do not think that you are obliged to answer all these questions. I am just trying to find out if you are safe and sound. May I ask you what can make you happy in your daily life? I think it is a difficult question for the person who lives in a peaceful country though a very easy question for the person whose country is tortured by the war. I try to remain positive and I can be happy just because I see the sun, I am happy when I see a smiling or naughty kid playing outside, I am happy just to cuddle with my Persik. All these small things put the smile on my face. What about you? What can make your mood a bit better? 

I hope you did not find the topic about stress to be something inappropriate to discuss. I have to admit that in Ukraine the people live in constant stress because of the war that lasts already for more than 6 years. If we talk about the life in general, I am trying to leave all the stress connected with my job (for example) at work. I do not  like to bring the problems home and stress the whole family with this or that. If I face misunderstandings with my partner, I will never go to bed unless the issue is discussed and we are both happy with each other again. I am sure you know what I am  talking about
I suppose my question about the fears was a bit provocative as not every person likes to reveal something that can make him vulnerable. I think it is easier for the woman to confess that she is afraid of this or that. The men are usually reluctant to confess that they are scared of something or somebody (I mean if someone leaves this world or simply disappears from our life). I do not believe that it is always easy to fight with the fears. It is also not needed.. I remember a quote which I read some time ago. It said: "All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by two emotions--fear or love. In truth there are only two emotions--only two words in the language of the soul.... Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends". So, even if we do not like to have fears in life we cannot get rid of them - just like from the desire to be loved and to love.

I am very happy that the language barrier that we have does not push you to stop our communication. I know that it is a serious obstacle but it is not something that we cannot solve. I am definitely eager to learn your language if we decide to connect our lives. Persik will do that as well. He will say Meow in your language, deal? Be assured, I am not afraid of starting to learn your language (I am not lazy to do that). They say: "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart." So in order to enter  your heart I will need to learn your language and I will do that with great pleasure Now I speak two - Russian and Ukrainian, but in the future I would love to enlarge this list I am glad that now thanks to the translation company and its services we do not have feel the language barrier, but one day the moment will come and we will need to learn to talk to each other without "external help". I am sure that it will be a real adventure I am ready and willing to learn your language no matter how much time it takes. I am assured that if the person has goals in life and if the person is not lazy, any language can be learnt. Maybe you will want to be my personal teacher. I would be very happy if you agree to share with me nuances of your language

xxx, in your letter you asked me about the place where I live. I live in Kreminna, it is in Lugansk region. We do not have sea nearby. We have the river (Syevyeskiy Donyets) and a couple of small lakes. The mountains in Ukraine are mainly situated in the West of Ukraine. I live in the East.
By the way, do you have the problem to let the past go and do you have the problems to forbid yourself to come back to the moments when something made you very sad and concerned? I know that there are many people who cannot live happily as they are always (in their thoughts) in the past. If someone hurt them, they cannot forgive this person; if they lost something or someone, they cannot cope with this loss and cannot simply continue their life with constant grief that lives in their hearts. I have to admit that my memory is very picky in this meaning and since very early childhood I managed to forget everything that made me feel bad and I never came back to the sad memories. For me everything happened automatically but when getting older and older I realized that not so many people can leave the past in the past. Yesterday, before going to bed I read a very nice quote that I want to share with you if you do not mind: “Even emotions come from thoughts. Every emotion we experience is a reaction to a certain thought that forms in our minds. Our bodies can’t see the difference between the past, present, and future. It reacts to a thought like we are experiencing it at that moment. That’s why when you remember the painful event that happened ten years ago, your heart starts beating fast or you become angry again. The body can’t differentiate what’s happening right now and what happened ten years ago, it just re-acts to your thoughts". I am sorry if this question was a bit serious. Do you think a short joke can help to make my letter a bit more cheerful:
“Teacher says: “With 8 billion people on Earth, that also means a lot of people die every minute. People are dying as we speak, with every breath I take.”
- Little Johnny suggests: “Maybe you should try some mouthwash.“

Yesterday in the evening, in order to distract myself from the news which I follow 24/7, I decided to watch a musical-documentary-confession movie of my favorite Ukrainian singer Tina Karol whose voice touches my heart so very much. She is a brilliant singer with very big and generous heart! She is a fighter - the person who after the death of her 33-years-old husband found strength to come back to the stage and be happy as a mother, as a woman. After the death of her husband Tina Karol was in the state of frustration though she never stopped creating new songs and giving concerts (I think her story can remind the story of Celine Dion who was also madly in love with her husband). She  devoted  so  many  songs  to  him,  to their love, to their strong feeling.  She wrote so many wonderful texts to the songs and also made this movie to honor her husband. Why I mention all that? I will try to explain.. Tina said that the people  should treasure every moment they spend together, every  single  piece  of  happiness the day brings. We should be happy even  when  the  sadness  comes into the house. But the most important thing  is  to  value each other, to be a single whole. And you know, I totally  agree  with  her.  The  people  sometimes  do  not  value the relationship  they have. Sometimes they do not realize that the happiness they have can be so vulnerable. I have to admit that I have learned already that the  most important thing in the relationship is respect, trust and understanding. It is so important to try to understand your man, to give him the feeling of comfort, to allow him enjoying this life by your side- thus no drama, no quarrels. I have to confess that after 4 years of loneliness I do miss this feeling of being  supported,  to be protected, to be loved, to be caressed, to be teased  from  time  to  time ( in the good sense of this word). I do not remember how it is when your man gives you his helping hand, when he allows you to be weak, feminine. I simply want  to love and to be loved. I am sorry for this sentimental paragraph. I am definitely a typical woman, don't you think?

It is so strange but the life after the 24th of February has stopped. One minute is like one hour, one day is like one month. It is so weird though it does happen. I know for sure that every positive or negative event in the life of the person has its logical beginning and its end. I do want to believe that soon I will have the chance to come back to work. I do believe that I will have a lot of things to do as the job of social worker presupposes to help the most vulnerable layers of our society. I suppose after the war the amount of people who will need help, financial and emotional support will increase. Sadly enough but now I cannot work and I am sent to sit at home and wait for the moment when the situation stabilizes. Pity that we were not told how many weeks/months we should survive without loan, without means to survive. Well, I suppose it is not the most important thing as right now the only wish of every Ukrainian is to win this war and to send Mr. Putin to hell! I know it will be very difficult, I know that a lot of people will sacrifice their lives, but I do want to believe that Almighty sees everything and He is on our side.
When we lived in a peaceful country, I always found the the chance to devote the time to short but very nice conversations with my mother. While being pretty far from my family it was very important to found out whether they were safe and sound. Now every call to my parents (when the mobile connection allows) is accompanied with a big bunch of worries and concerns. There is nothing more important than to hear: "We are ok, we are alive!" My God, in reality the people do not need so much to be happy. The life is not about material things. It is about the people relationship, about the things which help our heart be in peace. But, I am very curious to find out what helps you to relax? What can easily raise your spirits? How do you spend the evenings when you have the chance to devote the time to yourself? What kind of things can inspire you?I can consider myself a "movie monster" and when I am a bit sad, I prefer rewatching my favorite movies. Do you do that as well?

Ow, I am sorry I am rather emotional today and, probably, have already made you bored with my letter. You see it is rather easy for me to talk to you about everything I am definitely too talkative Now I stop and I will allow you to devote some time to yourself I will patiently wait for your next message and I will hope that it will come very soon
I am sending you my kisses and hugs, if possible
Tanya

Hello dear xxx! It  won't  surprise  you if I tell you that I am always pleased to get every letter of yours  and I am appreciated for the time you devote to writing  to me It is clear that in this crazy world we cannot be 100% assured when our date is going to take place though I definitely do everything in my power in order you not to wait for me too long. Sure, I cannot repair the electricity if it is off and I cannot repair Internet connection if it is unavailable but when the "stars align" and when nothing prevents us from talking to each other, I am happy to spend with you some time and I am extremely happy to get to know more and more about you. It would lie if I say that I do  not  wait  (expect)  for your letter. I am truly involved into our conversation  and  want  us to progress here (in virtual world) and then in the real life.  I know that the women are much more emotional than the men but I hope that you do not mind me being honest and open with you.

I hope I will not sound impudent if I ask you how you have been  without  me.  Were you looking forward to getting  my  letter? Sure, you are not obliged to answer these naughty questions.  I  like  to imagine you anticipating my letters. Maybe at first you check what kind of photos are attached to the letter and only then you start reading the text which is usually pretty long (and hopefully not very boring. What is  more  interesting to explore - letters or photos?  Will  you tell me? I am sorry if I am overreacting with questions but I have one more. Do you like being teased from time to time by your partner? I am the person who is very eager to cuddle, who is eager to be playful and naughty if my man is in mood for all that. When I write to you my letters I usually try to disengage from the whole world and find myself in a kind of vacuum, a separate universe where I can just collect all my thoughts and express them on a piece of paper. If I do not do that, I cannot write a decent letter (haha, I suppose you already feel that you are dealing with a perfectionist). We are adults and we know how the daily routine (and now the war here), possible issues at work or problems connected with our family or friends can influence our mood and our reactions on certain things. So, when I write to you my letters I totally switch off the buttons in my mind which are responsible for bringing stress and fear into my life. I do not want to talk about the trivial things as our task is to learn about our personalities and not about the stress we face on daily basis. Maybe I am wrong, but I got used to hide a lot from the people who surround me. I rarely (almost never) ask for help (I am too ashamed to do that and usually I do not like to bother others with my problems) though the most ridiculous thing is that I am always ready to help others, to support the ones who are in need. Is it something that is also typical for you, for your personality? Do you ask for help if you are in trouble? Is it easy for you to devote your time to helping others? You know, after the death of my husband I had to rely on myself only and that is why my psychology and perception of the world has changed. And now, when the war came, I realized how vulnerable I am and how much I would love to hide in the strong arms of my man who would protect me, who would say: "Do not be afraid, I am with you!". They say that the person is born alone and he dies alone though between these two "events" of life spiral I would definitely want to be with my second half. I am sure you desire exactly the same.

I am pleased that you told me about your attitude to the possibility to forget and forgive. I am so glad to learn your thoughts concerning this topic. Sure, all people are different and some events in the life cannot be easily forgotten or forgiven. Some people, thanks to horrible events that happened to them in the childhood get psychological problems that bother them all their life. What I was trying to say is that I do not like to hold the grudge on the people whom I love, I do not like to keep silence for several days to show my partner that I am dissatisfied with his actions or words. I think it is better to find the way to talk about negativity, express disappointment (if such occurs) and then move forward. As for the "old wounds", I prefer hiding them deep in my heart and not to open this memory chest.

It is indeed true that the language barrier cannot be a real problem for two people who are very eager to be together. The language is just an instrument the people use in order to communicate and this instrument is available for mastering for any human being. It is just the matter of real desire to do something. If the man or the woman is very interested in making the step towards the partner, he/she will do that in no time. I want to repeat that I am very eager to master the language of my beloved man and I will try to do that within a short period of time.

If you do not mind I wanted to ask you one thing Do you have a lot of secrets which you are not ready to share even with your friends or beloved ones? Sure you have some, am I right? Do you know why  I  ask? Today I read a joke and it made me laugh I hope  that  we will not keep from each other such  kind  of secrets So, here is a joke: "A young couple is on their honeymoon. The husband is  sitting  in  the  bathroom  on  the  edge of the bathtub saying to himself,  "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and  that  my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my  feet stink. Now how do I tell her?" Meanwhile, the wife is sitting in  the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got  really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we  were  courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound  to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?" The husband finally plucks  up enough courage to tell his wife and walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her  neck,  moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've got  a  confession  to make." She says, "So have I, love." To which he replies,  "Don't  tell  me,  you've eaten my socks." Haha I want to assure  you  that  my breath is fresh and my socks are always clean Haha,  but  maybe you will find in me something that you will consider to be my vice I am definitely the person who has good and bad sides  I  really  never  wanted to be perfect. I want to be natural and I wanted to be a decent woman.

I am very happy that the technical issues do not prevent us from having the dates. Sure, I only can appreciate the translation company via which we are actually talking. I do not know how they still manage to "catch" Internet connection taking into account that we have numerous problems with electricity, mobile connection and other facilities. Sure, Internet has never been something really available in the East of Ukraine because of this war in 2014-2015 but we could not even imagine that the situation would become even worse. So, every date of ours is something precious, every letter of yours makes me believe that we are not totally cut from the outer world! I have already mentioned that the life stopped here indefinitely but I do believe that there should be a kind of guardian angel that helps us to continue our communication. Maybe it is a good sign? We will see.

I  am  sure that it is time to stop talking and give you the chance to do  something  pleasant.  Perhaps, you are hungry or sleepy - I do not know.  But  I  hope  that  despite  all  these  serious topics which I touched,  you  smiled  a  bit  as  it  was our date which I enjoyed Please, try to take a special care of yourself and write to me as soon as you can
Tender kisses from Ukraine
Glory to Ukraine and Glory to its defenders!
Tanya

Das war eine harte Nuss.

Die Bilder wurden bei Viktoriya Bakumenko / Виктория Бакуменко aus Zaporizhia geklaut.

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