My angel I am again compelled to ask you to wait. 

Hello my beautiful husband Xxxxxxx.
If to speak that is fairly if the God has presented me death that I preferred to die but only to not
write to you this awful message...
I am afraid that after reading this letter you forever will be disappointed with me because I let
you down again
But in it the message I want to tell to you the truth and only the truth.
And if I shall not receive from you the new message ever that I shall understand completely your opinion.
My dear now I should explain to you that has taken place in this weekend.
Yesterday mum went in shop to buy food for a supper and when she came back home and passed
the crossroads that her was brought down by the driver of a dumper.
He was drunk and has not noticed forbidding signal of a traffic light.
Now mum is in hospital, she has plural bruises on all body, a brain concussion,
the broken edges and leg.
She is in critical a condition but nevertheless the doctor has told that there are chances that she
will be to live.
This week to her will perform operation and then we shall know more about health of mum (
I have lead the last night in hospital near to mum and for this reason I could not enter in Skype
that to have a chat with you.
And only recently I have come back home and now after a spelling to you of this message I shall have
it is a little to sleep and rest and after that I shall go again in hospital.
My love I cannot leave now my family this difficult minute and to travel to Germany
for this reason I went in the airport to hand over tickets back and to receive money.
But I promise you that I shall not spend these financial resources intended for my travel in you.
I shall keep it in a reliable place that when my mum felt like better that I could only
to buy tickets to Berlin and to fly to your country.
If now I shall fly to your country and with my mum there will be a misfortune that I cannot forgive
to myself it ever and my conscience will deliver torture to me up to the end of my days.
My love I only sincerely hope that you will understand my situation and you will respect mine choice.
I do not speak you that I shall not arrive to your country and I do not speak that I shall require
in additional financial resources to make it.
I only ask you to wait for additional 2-3 weeks and I think that by then my mum will be
to feel like better and then I can make last step in your gentle embraces.
Now I shall finish this message to have a rest.
I am awfully tired also my ideas are confused because to me indefinitely terribly and sadly.
I am afraid to lose you from my life!
I am afraid to lose my mum from my life for ever!
I am afraid to lose my happiness and to live this life in full loneliness and suffering.
But nevertheless I hope that I made the correct decision and you will accept and respect my opinion.
I love you my kitten.
Your Natalya.



Zitat:

Hello Xxxxxxx.
My kitten which I have received last message from you have been written in the beginning weeks ago and
all the week long I did not receive from you messages so I am in some surprise now.
You do not write to me because you now are outside city or because you know that I have a little
free time and I seldom am at a computer?
Anyhow I would not like to lose you from my life and I want to know that with you all well.
On Thursday to mum have performed operation and yesterday her have transferred in the common chamber.
Doctors speak that operation has passed successfully but full recovery will need long time and
rates of rehabilitation.
Only in some months mum can probably come back to a habitual way of life.
But for me the main thing that her life was not threatened with danger and as soon as I shall know
that from her health all will be good I at once I shall fly to your country because I know as for
a long time you wait me and I also dream to appear in your embraces and to overlook about all.
I love only you my delightful gentle kitten!
Write to me when you will have time.
It will be pleasant for me to see your new message when I shall check again my E-mail.
Your gentle and delightful Naty.



Zitat:

Good morning my husband Xxxxxxx.
I have received today all your new messages and after reading it I write to you the answer.
First of all I want to tell that you sent me a delightful song and I listened to it repeatedly.
I heard this song 4-5 years ago but I do not remember who sing this song?
My dear I ask you to calm down.
I did not disappear from your life and to me there were no new troubles.
I only have got used that each time passes 7-10 days before you will answer my letter and 
I did not check my e-mail frequently.
And why you demand from me that I wrote to you set of letters if you did not answer my letters
long time?
I always tried to answer quickly your letter and after that I only waited when you will be
to write to me again.
Besides you should remember that I am not all the day long at my computer.
Last weeks I not enough time am at home because I constantly work or I am in to hospital.
Even those minutes when I come back home I should make work on the house, cooking a supper and
to have a rest.
So I think that your reproaches are inappropriate.
My love now I want to tell about health of mum.
To her have made all necessary operations and she already feels like better.
Yesterday she for the first time has risen from a bed and has made 2 steps so in her treatment it is
visible positive tendency. 
Doctors speak that if so that will proceed further probably next week they will release
mum to home and she will continue treatment being at home.
These are really delightful news and if it will soon take place that already on next week
we can speak about our meeting.
My love you should remember that to me very difficultly and I ask you to not render on me
additional pressure.
I need in your encouragement and I want to feel your force and confidence but instead of it
you did not write to me more week and now I see your pain in each your letter and is sad...
But why you do not understand that I want to feel like near to you in safety?
Why you allow me to see your weakness now though I should feel your support?!
My husband I as well as before am interested in our meetings and my feelings to you every day
only become stronger.
And I do not wish to remain in Russia additional time so as soon as mum will at home we can
to do last step to our meeting.
I adore you my kitten and if you will soon write to me your answer that I shall try not
to force you to wait for my new message during long time.
Your beloved bride Naty.



Zitat:

Hello my husband & guy Xxxxxxx.
Today I have good news so I hasten to write to you this message and to inform you it.
I just have come back home from hospital and the mother's attending physician has told that already
tomorrow or on Saturday she will come back home!!!!
My honey you are happy to hear it?
I regret that this minute you cannot see me because my face to shine similarly to the sun from
happiness and I can warm my smile of all surrounding people
My kitten as soon as mum will come back home we at once we shall speak about our meeting.
We even shall probably have a chat.
In one of your last letters you asked about mine to the daddy and I want to tell that certainly
to him also it was hard last weeks because he should work much and also he constantly worried
about health of my mum.
But now he also can feel like better.
This problem has pulled together us and we helped each other every minute and when I was difficult
and hurt me always could feel encouragement from my father.
My husband I madly love you and I hope that this month our meeting will take place.
We really went to this practically within 1 year and now we is very close to our happiness.
I adore you!
Your gentle and tender Naty.



Zitat:

Hello my prince, how are you?
I have written to you the message to Monday and since that day I did not receive your answer.
My kitten in what the reason of your silence?
You again have not electricity in your house or you have not access to yours E-mail?
I hope to receive your answer soon.
Faithfully your love Naty.



Zitat:

Hello my loved Xxxxxxx.
I have woken up early today and after I had a breakfast I have come in my computer
to check my E-mail.
I had not big desire to enter my e-mail because I knew that today I again will be
to hear a new set of rough words in my address
And now after reading your new messages I want to write to you the answer.
This last my message to you will be possible, we will probably have a meeting next week.
I do not know. It will depend completely on you my love.
Xxxxxxx I read your letters last days and I have sensation that you count me your enemy.
You speak me rough words, you threaten me and I have sensation that if you now were close
to me that you struck me...
But my sweet you should understand that I am not your enemy!
I do not wish you evil!
I love you and I only want to make you rather happy guy.
And I am sure that I can to make it but for this purpose we should be together.
Also my kitten I want to understand why you are angry with me?
All problems which occured to me recently occured not on my fault.
You only should understand that I for the first time travel for limits of Russia and certainly I do
not know all laws and rules.
The teacher which was engaged in the organization of ours tour should explain me it but he
has not told it beforehand and consequently I had some unforeseen problems.
If I had experience in travel abroad that certainly I would foreknow it.
You should not be angry with me because I do not think out these problems.
I only faced with it and I spoke you about it that together we could solve it.
Or you preferred that I disappeared from your life as soon as on my way will appear difficulties?
Xxxxxxx if to speak that is fairly I think that you become angry about you but you pour out your rage
and hatred on me.
If you have found an opportunity to send your remittance quickly that I already would be in yours embraces.
But you have not found an opportunity to make it and you let me down and now you are angry because
I not arrived to you.
I understand my honey that money have for you great value but you are sure that money can to make
you happy?
And if you think that it so that how many money resources are necessary for you for happiness?
Also what you can buy on this money?
In Russia speak:
It is possible to buy the house, but not family. It is possible to buy a bed, but not dream.
It is possible to buy hours, but not time. It is possible to buy the book, but not knowledge.
It is possible to buy position, but not respect. It is possible to pay for the doctor, but not for health.
It is possible to buy soul, but not a life. It is possible to buy sex, but not love.
I think that you can understand this statement.
And I completely agree with these words.
Yes you can buy the house, a bed, hours, the book, position, the doctor, food and sex.
But you cannot buy a cosiness in the house, to sleep, calmness, time, knowledge, respect, friends,
health, life and love.
You cannot buy these things but it is necessary for happiness of each person.
Probably we have various priorities and for you the most important in a life is money.
For me the most important in a life this creation of family and care of my husband and children.
Only after that me work, career and a financial position will interest.
It is important for me that you were happy and healthy because you are the important part of my life.
For this reason I have told to you that I want to remain in your country when my group will be
to come back to Russia.
I want also I can remain with you in your country and I can finish my study later.
But it is probable you did not understand these words or only inattentively read my letters.
My honey if you it is valid so value your money that why you have agreed to send me
your financial help for the first time in the last year?
If you have not made this that at that stage we only buried all our dreams.
But since that day we overcame set of difficulties and now when we are in 1 step from ours
meetings you want to stop.
I always counted you the person of a word but now you convince me of the opposite.
Now I have sensation that you are not interested in success of our meeting but if it so that as
I can to reach our overall aim without your participation?
Xxxxxxx I do not know that to me to do further.
I can arrive to your country next week, I assure you that I can make it but for this purpose
I need that you allowed to me last chance.
If you will really make it and you fulfil your promise that I promise you that I will not disappoint you.
My kitten or you want that I disappeared from your life?
You think that you will be happy if I will disappear from your life?
If you will tell that I left you alone and you do not want to see me in the person that my heart
it will be destroyed.
Probably after that I even will die.
But I will take part your desire and I to disappear from your life if you will wish that I have made it.
I do not want to impose to you my relations if you do not require it.
My prince is your money and you can dispose of it as you want.
And I cannot force to help you to me if you do not want it.
I only can ask to give you to me this chance that I could prove to you sincerity of my words.
I ask you to give to me this chance because you promised me that you will make it and I want to prove
to you that the infinite love to you lives in my heart my husband!
I really still love you though your yesterday's message injured my heart.
You really completely have unreasonably accused me.
It is very hurt me because of it.
My love I ask you that today you made a decision and informed me on it.
And after that I will see that I will do further: to arrive to your country or to disappear from
your life forever ( 
I ask you to not hurry up with your answer because it very important.
And our destinies will depend on your answer.
But soon I will check again mine E-mail and I want to know what decision you accepted.
I am really very tired my husband.
I want in your embraces...
I ask you to take away me from here.
I cannot remain here more.
It in your forces.
With love still yours Natalya. 



Zitat:

Good afternoon my loved Xxxxxxx.
Today I have stopped earlier my working day to have an opportunity to write to you new good message.
And I also have bought the additional traffic of the Internet to not hurry up at a spelling to you
of this letter. 
I read attentively your last message and I needed time to collect the thoughts and
to write to you the answer!
In the beginning my letter I want to tell that my mum feels like much better and will be fast she
to come back to work.
My husband if to speak that is fairly to me hurt your words when you have told that you have not
trust to me and you asked me about proofs.
And I even had desire to stop our relations after these words but later I have understood that
I cannot to make it because I love you very much and I cannot live without you!
And I also have put me in your boots and I understood your feelings and I understood that for me
very much important that you had confidence of tomorrow's day.
So I made a decision to do scan my passport and to send you that you could see mine documents.
Only I received this passport in 2005 so I have there an old photo but you should to recognize me
besides there my full name is written.
It is written in Russian but I hope that you will understand something.
My gentle peach I only want that you knew that it is first and last time when I give
to you of the proof that I real.
And if you will ask about it again that I shall disappear from your life because I shall be
it is disappointed with you.
I hope you will understand that my words are serious and I shall not allow somebody to humiliate me
and to hurt my heart.
I have made it only for the sake of our love.
My prince I regret that I did not answer before your questions but I had very difficult last days
and my head went around so I shall answer your questions today:
1) you do not say left the total sum You've Received conserve??????????
Now I have 1400 euros.
2) how many is the missing amount???????
I already spoke you that now does not suffice me 400 € that I could arrive to your country.
But within the next few days I shall already receive 100 € so I shall ask only that you sent me 300€.
3) Are you sure and promise to me that you really will arrive here this last chance???
Yes my husband I assure you that I shall arrive to your country if you will make it and I shall not
be to force you to wait longer.
Only we should hurry up because my visa will come to an end the next month.
My prince 2 days ago you have written to me the letter and have told that you will allow to me this chance.
And I know that you are the person of a word so I shall hope only that you execute yours promise.
I love you my kitten and you have not reasons to doubt of my words.
We are familiar with you long time and all this time I kept to you fidelity.
Any other guy in this world is not necessary for me.
You understand it my star?
If I required the other guy that I would find him, but I do not need in it because you
be present at my life and only I can give you my heart and I shall know that it is in
reliable hands.
My love last days you send me many video but I ask you to not do it again therefore
that it spends a lot of Internet of the traffic.
I hope that you will understand my request.
Now I shall stop this message to help mum cook a supper.
And I hope to see your new message soon.
Your honey Natalya. 



Zitat:

hello my sweet Xxxxxxx.
I only write to you this short message before I will have to sleep and I want to tell that
I waited for your new letter within all day but you have not written to me and I am sad because 
of it
I only hope that when tomorrow I will check my e-mail that me the new message will wait from
mine loved prince
I love you my kitten!
I love you very much.
Your girl Naty. 



Zitat: