Dearest love,
Words from my soul that cannot be contained, feelings that I have wanted so much to share with you today, I just returned home and I am by myself realizing I left so much unsaid to you. Remembering that I could still write to you like this, even if you wouldn’t get it right away.
I drove around for fifteen minutes just listening to music, that reminds me of you, I do love the melody in that song as well as the words and I had tears in my eyes. I knew I would come home and write this letter to you. You and I are forever, you know that? I want to share the rest of my life with you and I know you feel the same. Together we will decide the best way to do that.
You make me fly but in a way I’ve never known before. Safely. Because of you I’m not afraid to be me, to be the person I was always meant to be. You could not have given me a greater gift than if you had taken all your money and spent it all on me. The greatest gifts are given from the heart. You have all my love, you always have. And what you do to me; you confuse me, you torment me, you tease me, you make me laugh, you make me cry but most of all you make me love you.
And I find there is no life without you in it to share it with. Nothing is too hard, nothing is impossible because of you. You make me believe that anything and everything is possible. I’m sitting here on the stairs but my thoughts are miles away. To wherever you are this evening. Wishing so much I could touch your face, your hair, that beautiful smile. Just to run my fingers down the side of your face would be heaven to me. Just to look in your eyes and see what I’ve been waiting to see. Just to let you look in my eyes and see my soul as I know you’ve been waiting to do. It’s there in my eyes. The truth of everything I’ve said to you. The truth of my feelings for you. More than mere words can express. I love you is not enough for what you do to me .
I am no longer afraid of you or afraid of this bond between us. Nor do I doubt your motives anymore. Ah, you didn’t know that did you. I wasn’t sure for a long time that you wouldn’t hurt me like all the other people in my life that I have cared about.
You are a complete mystery to me and yet I feel I know you better than I know myself and I can only see myself standing before you, feeling somehow that you are holding me, looking into your face and knowing that I love you too much to ever leave you. Knowing that whatever you are doing to hold me to you does make me feel loved. How can you understand me so well when you’ve never met me? How can you know the right thing to do when I’ve never told you? How can I know you love me when you’ve never said a word? You always end up making me smile, You always end up making me understand everything. You keep me balanced, you keep me centered and when I find myself loving you this much I know that I can trust you with my life. And I am reminded again that I will always be safe with you.
And I know that after we meet that words will not always be necessary for you and I to communicate. Because of what we share. No matter how many people there are around us making it impossible for you and I to talk, you and I will communicate with looks, with touches and in our hearts. If you do not feel me now I have no doubt that there will come a day that you will. And once you know where to find it, what it feels like, you will never forget. I only have to look in your eyes to know how you are.
I look at you and I know, I finally know, what it is to love and to be loved. Without conditions, without reservations. And I want to shout it out to the whole world what I’ve found. I shout it out in my heart to God instead. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank him for leading me to you.
I just knew if this was right it wouldn’t go away. It would keep growing and getting stronger in spite of how badly we were both screwing it up. Both of us with baggage from our pasts to help confuse what was happening. We still have and probably always will have baggage that will cause us problems. We will work through them because we both know how much we mean to each other. Even though you have never said a word directly to me, your actions have finally convinced me that you do care about me. I know I had been seeing it and feeling it in my heart, but I needed to see it from you before I could accept that it was true.
Have I said enough? I find I could write on and on - forever and it is with you, But tomorrow is fast approaching and I find that I cannot wait to go to sleep and be one day closer to finally meeting you. I am trying to take my own advice about slowly moving closer to you so that when we meet it will hopefully not be as intense.
You are my friend, but so much more than that to me. But when I think of you as my friend whom I can always trust, I find I can talk to you much more easily than when I think of all those feeling between us still waiting to be explored and discovered. When I think of you as my forever friend, I don’t worry about what will happen between us. I just know because you are my friend that I will always be there for you, that you will always be there for me.
We have to be friends before we can be anything else to each other. Wouldn’t you agree? That is the next step, I hope this clarifies the confusion in your mind. To laugh together, to have fun together whether we spend the whole time just talking to each other or whether I drag you out to get some fresh air! I had a whole dream once about your room, what was I doing in your bedroom? I never knew what real happiness was until I found you. Never knew it was possible to feel this way, to wake up every morning and smile because I love you, because knowing you has brought me a serenity that I never dreamed was possible. Knowing that if I can feel this way and not be with you that what I feel must be real and how much I have to look forward to when we do meet. You are my Heart!!!
All my love,