Es ist erstaunlich, wie er die vorgefundene Situation in "China"
plausibel macht. Good morning my love how was your night my love? I know it is morning there in berlin. It is past 3pm here in china. I just saw your email my love. I did not come with no camera to china as I came to work here and even if there is a camera there is no place to scan it and save it to send to you as I hardly know my way around and here is a very remote area and do not want to go missing as I also hardly know anyone here. I love you so much my love. I can not stand this. It is just too hard to be away from you. I am usually okay, but at times like this (especially this day) it just becomes too much to bear. I can not stop thinking of you.
I just have to tell you to share with you that sacred part of my inner, secret life, the thoughts I think that everyone has but does not always say. I know that sometimes pride gets in the way of expressing emotions. I believe that is the cause of my reticence in telling you how I feel sometimes, that and the fact that passion in an extreme state can be scary, you almost just want to shut it away for fear that it will eventually destroy you. I think of my feelings, my love for you not with craving or with hope or even desire, but just with a kind of wonder that such things could be. You have opened my eyes to how love should feel. I can promise you this, I will never again settle for less. You are all I desire in this life.
But, at this time in both of our lives, we are surrounded by possibilities of choice, open doors and wide horizons, which I know, may come between us. But I also know and hope that they could eventually bring us together, with both of us being better people for the time we spent apart. And so for now I function between maybe and maybe not. It's a strange mixture of love and sex and sorrow and hope and longing and faith. And even though you are far away, you're all that I can see, I carry you with me through all my days and I miss you more than I can say. Also, remember this - I love you no less than if you were right here now.
You're always lighting up my heart with the things you do and say. I feel so happy having you in my life. You're my baby, and will forever be my baby. You will always be the love of my life, and please never give up, always have faith in us and together we will gain the greatest gift of all, the gift of hope and love we righteously deserve.
I know I have a tendency to be impetuous at times - thus the reason for this mail. I think I will send it now, before I consider what you might think of it. I love you and am waiting for the day when I can feel your arms around me.
Yours forever,